


It'll Be Fine

by technicallyGone



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bro is super paranoid, Cheesy, Collegestuck, Dave works at Starbucks, Humanstuck, M/M, Paranoia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-03-31 17:19:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3986371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/technicallyGone/pseuds/technicallyGone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TG: so you two are telling me my two best bros are so kinky<br/>TG: that one of them is going to go fuck the actual number two<br/>TA: eheheh<br/>TG: and the other wants to get his dick up in my step brothers shades business<br/>CG: IT SOUNDS WEIRD WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT.<br/>TG: i need to reevaluate my life</p>
            </blockquote>





	It'll Be Fine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aurellyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurellyn/gifts).



> This is filled with a lot of inside jokes and headcanons. Enjoy anyways! 
> 
> I also have no fucking clue how to do the Pesterchum layout. I apologize and might fix it later.

TG: youre fucked  
CG: FUCK  
TA: defiiniitely fucked  
TA: on at lea2t two level2  
CG: WHY TWO?  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU GOT WITH TWOS?  
CG: WHY DON'T YOU JUST DITCH YOUR BOYFRIEND AND GO FUCK THE NUMBER TWO, YOU PIECE OF SHIT?  
TG: so you two are telling me my two best bros are so kinky  
TG: that one of them is going to go fuck the actual number two  
TA: eheheh  
TG: and the other wants to get his dick up in my step brothers shades business  
CG: IT SOUNDS WEIRD WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT.  
TG: i need to reevaluate my life  
CG: HAVE FUN.  
CG: BREATHE NOT A WORD OF THIS TO ANYONE OR ELSE I *WILL* KILL YOU.  
TA: 2ee you dave

Dave pushed his chair back from his desk, stretching as he stood up. He needed some new friends. Or maybe just to talk to John more. But while John was his friend (an awesome friend), he was all the way in Washington, which was a pretty fucking far way away from Texas. And while he visited, it was still easier to talk to Karkat and Sollux on a daily basis, since he saw those two assholes all the time.

Speaking of which, he needed to get to his job soon. That's where he'd met Karkat, who'd introduced him to Sollux. But that was three years ago when he'd just turned eighteen and promised that Starbucks would be a part time thing. Not that it wasn't now- but it was his job through college, and that shit was hella expensive. And now that he was twenty one, he needed some extra money for drinks and shit. 

Not that his stepdad and dad didn't give him plenty, but it was nice to earn it. Though his parents /were/ rich assholes. 

He got up to make his way to the door, pushing his hair back from his face as he did so. The apartment he shared with his step brother was small (far smaller than the large one he'd grown up in), with only a kitchen, living room, bathroom, and two bedrooms. It took some maneuvering to get to the door, since Dirk had claimed the living room as his workshop. Dave's bedroom had been serving that function, but then Dave had kind of moved in and-

RIP.

Dave was going to make Dirk clean all this shit out, or he'd toss it out a window. This was the third pair of jeans he'd lost on a stray piece of metal.

.:~:.

Dave comes home after work tired, but not angry. He used to be angry sometimes having to deal with people that long, but he's gotten over it. He's learned to mellow out some over the years, which was pretty cool. There's a message on his cell phone from his dad, and suddenly he has to drive two hours to get to his house and convince his dad to get out of the fucking closet because no, no one's after you. His stepdad's gone for another movie premiere, so he's not here to preform this kind of shit. But the strife on the roof afterwards leaves a good burn in his muscles, showing just how out of practice he was. He bitched at Bro for not going easy on the college kid and proceeds to beat his ass in Mario Kart to prove his point. He ends up crashing in his room for the night since he doesn't have school tomorrow, and being woken up the next morning by the smell of thank you pancakes instead of some asshole cutting metal is a nice change. 

Maybe it wouldn't kill him to visit home more often.

.:~:.

Karkat regrets talking to that stupid asshole. He'd trained Dave (and got fired quickly after he cussed Dave out when he kept fucking up making a frappachino- he still thinks Dave did it on purpose), but the other turned out to be easy to talk to and they'd bonded pretty quickly. He might be feeling pretty fucking stupid for that now, though, as he banged his head against the keyboard, not even caring what the message to Sollux would look like.

"Karkat? I'm sure I don't need to tell you, but that's not quite the proper way to use your keyboard. Though I'm sure you knew that. In fact, that was satire. I actually meant to inquire if you were okay and ask why you were smashing your face against a keyboard, but I'm trying to respect your request to stop preaching to you as much. How's this?"

Karkat slowly raised his head and turned to glare at his older brother.

"What have I told you? Use your words- I can't understand a thing through your various glares, Karkat. I'm sure you have an arrangement of them, but-"

"I'm going out for a drink. See you a two when I drunkenly call you for a ride," Karkat said instead, getting up and walking past his brother, grabbing his jacket on the way out.

"Karkat-"

The door slammed before the other could get any more out.

.:~:.

CG: HEY.  
CG: HEY YOU.  
TT: Yes?  
CG: IS THSI DORK?  
TT: The text is red. I think we've established what that means, Vantas.  
CG: FUCK YOU!  
CG: YO'ERE FUCKIRNG RED!  
CG: SCCALRET COLORED PICE OF SHIT  
CG: PLASTIC  
TT: You're drunk.  
CG: WHAT?  
CG: LIES.  
CG: LIES AND SLANDER!  
TT: I'll talk to you in the morning.  
CG: SHH  
CG: IM GONNA GO TO SLEPE NOW  
CG: PLZ DONT TEXT ME ZNYMORE  
TT: Right. I won't.  
CG: I'm s9rry t9 wh9ever my 6r9ther might 6e texting, 6ut I'm afraid I'm g9ing t9 have t9 put him t9 6ed. I'll see t9 it that he c9ntacts y9u in the m9rning. G99dnight.  
TT: Karkat, your brother's a tool.

.:~:.

Karkat woke up the next morning with a hangover and a lot of hate holed up in that small body for the entirety of the world. He grumbled, trying to block out the noise of Kankri talking in the kitchen. Either he was studying by reading his note cards out loud again, or he was calling Captor to complain about him again. Today seems to be the universe's way to kick him while he was down. 

But when he saw the last message from last night on his phone, he knows he's in love, and maybe the universe isn't giving him the shittiest hand after all.

.:~:.

Sollux fucking hates Karkat and Mituna.

""Get a job" they thaid. "Thtop being a lazy athhole" they thaid. "Working at Betht Buy will be a piece of cake!" they thaid!"

The tall, thin boy mutters angrily to himself as he hunts down his manager to make sure it's alright for him to leave. He worked closer again tonight, and he wants to punch so many things in their faces. 

Being part of the GeekSquad was easy for Sollux. He knew his way around a computer better than anyone. 

Having to deal with all the fucking idiots that came in was /not/ so easy, however, and Sollux hates himself for needing the money.

Once he's good to go, he grabs his keys and thinks really hard about not strangling Stan's fucking neck if he nitpicks every little thing before he lets Sollux off again. He's sure the guy's got it out for him.

He approaches his little piece of shit car, unlocking it before he notices that someone's sitting on the top of his hood. Someone with thick, wavy blond hair spiked back, tan skin, and the most fucking ridiculous pair of anime shades on his face. Someone with a bag of the Chinese food from the sketchy place next door.

"I fucking love you."

"I just got back from California," Dirk reminds Sollux. "After being gone for two weeks, I'd basically be put in jail if I didn't grab my shitty boyfriend some take out and head to his place to give him a blowjob after work."

Dirk doesn't lower his voice, and when the old couple walking into the Bed, Bath, and Beyond right next to Best Buy give them a look, he actually laughs. Sollux shuts him up by grabbing the bag and a handful of his boyfriend's choice ass and kissing him.

Maybe today wasn't such a bad day after all.


End file.
